Communicating your problems can be more difficult than you would think. When you are struggling with something, you might feel like you are being weak when opening up about it. After all, if you do not discuss your problems, you can pretend like they do not exist. You might even just decide that you can simply solve all your problems yourself. In an article provided by Psychology Today, Myron Nelson LCPC explains the importance of speaking about your problems in a healthy way.
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps” is still a common saying in American culture. However, problems might be too complex and it can make you feel stuck. Talking out your problems can help you better understand them. It can also bring you closer to those that you care about.
Fixing the problem is not necessarily a benefit to opening up about your struggles. It might be a possible gain for these conversations, but that shouldn’t be the primary goal. When you are explaining something, you have to relay your thoughts in a way that another human can follow somewhat easily. This allows you to get an outside perspective of the situation, while also organizing your thoughts that are likely jumbled in your brain.
Describing your problems is a skill, so you have to practice it before you are good at it. Start by simply saying your issue out loud, then mention it to someone, then describe it in more detail to someone that you trust. It doesn’t have to all happen at once, and it doesn’t need to always be a huge statement.
Once you open up to someone, the relationship changes for the better if they listen with compassion. The person you are speaking to does not necessarily have to share the same viewpoint as you. They could disagree, or not have the same perspective as you, but being able to discuss these topics in general can give you a sense of closeness.
Be careful when you are speaking about problems. Make sure the person listening is in an appropriate mental space to safely absorb the information you are going to present to them. You should also make sure to completely open up to those you trust wholeheartedly, so that you do not have to fear personal topics being repeated.
Therapy is a useful tool. Allowing a professional to listen and help you make sense of adverse experiences is extremely helpful and valuable. If you are struggling in your personal life and you need a more objective outlook, try reaching out to clinicians near you.
Nelson, Myron. “You Should Talk about Your Problems More.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-be-burden/202110/you-should-talk-about-your-problems-more.