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Strategies for Dealing with Envy

Envy is one of the more infamous vices that can lead people to act destructively towards both others and themselves. It can be an unpredictable emotion that appears when one least expects it. However, once felt, it can consume your thoughts and your mind. This negative feeling can be overwhelming and can influence your life negatively. In order to prevent the feeling of jealousy, it is important to understand its psychology as well as nature. 

There are many situations where envy can be commonly felt. Research has shown that about 75 percent of the American workforce has experienced career envy. Many people have admitted to feeling envy over what their coworkers might have accomplished at work or over a job title. They covet what is not theirs and what they personally feel should have been theirs. Studies have also shown that envy displays differently across both genders. Women tend to have feelings of envy over appearances and popularity. Meanwhile, men display such feelings for status items and financial resources. 

Envy is not without consequences and can impact someone’s life negatively. . It can lead to poor decisions which can ruin careers as well as interpersonal relationships. Envy can also be a distraction. Some people can be too focused on what it is that others possess that they feel entitled to. This can cause them to lose motivation on personal growth and performance. It can prevent people from moving forward. Instead, they will be stuck in a mindset where negativity and envy is at the center of it. 

There are many strategies that can be used to avoid and prevent envy. 

  1. Practice a grateful mindset. Be appreciative of what you already have. Focus on yourself and build your confidence. Show yourself compassion. This will allow you to accept other’s success as well as your own. 

  2. Reduce comparisons. Do not compare yourself to others. Instead, reflect on your past and current self. Use yourself as motivation and appreciation for how far you have come.

  3. Perspective is key. Success is relative. Not everyone is perfect and nobody has everything. Just because that one person has experienced success in one aspect of their life, it does mean that their life is perfect overall. We are all humans. 

  4. Separate the person from their success. What is it that you are envious of? Is it something they possess or is it the person themselves. There is a difference between the two. Try to understand the differentiation in order to avoid resenting the person for something they cannot control.

Envy can be a monster, but you have the power to not let it consume you. By practicing these strategies and showing yourself compassion, you can overcome the initial bouts of jealousy and live your life for yourself. 


Reference: 

Walsh, Nuala. “6 Simple Strategies to Neutralize Envy.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 30 Jan. 2023, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/decisions-that-matter/202301/6-simple-strategies-to-neutralize-envy.